Saving Quirrell
by Sorceress Despina
Summary: Kylie,a Quirrell lover,ends up in the Harry Potter world and sets out to save Quirrell (and herself) from Voldemort NOW RESUMED!
1. Default Chapter

AUTHOR'S NOTE:Well this idea's been running through my head for quite some time.It's a pretty,shall we say unusuall Quirrell fic because of the fact that's it written from MY perspective. Actually it's a character named Kylie Johanseen (not my real name,of course)She doesn't always react the way that I would in her situation (if I was in her situation I would do things that couldin't be explained in a fanfic such as this),but in this story she's a reflection of me. Everything about her Quirrell infatuation is 100% me.The only difference is her family and friend.I've basically poured all my emotions towards Quirrell into Kylie Johanseen and here's the result.  
  
I slid the tape out of the slick cover and jammed it in the VCR.Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone. My favorite movie of all time and my best friend (well,ONLY friend)Tara had agreed to come over and watch it with me.  
  
Maybe I should start from the beginning.My name's Kylie Johanseen.I'm fifteen,with hazel eyes (I usually refer to them as snotty barf green)and thick dark brown hair.Not that you give or damn,and not that it's relevant to all of this,but there you have it.I've got a stinging temper.I'm a zit-infested package of teenage rage and hormones but deep down I'm such a caring,sensitive person.  
  
I glanced down at my watch,feeling my pesky temper flare up.She was eighteen minutes late. Eighteen freakin' minutes.I sighed and glanced out the front window,feeling my irritation growing like a tumor in my head.Tara was irresponsible and constantly late.But she was my only friend so I had no choice but to put up with her.  
  
I walked into the kitchen and cracked open a can of Sprite.My mom walked in the kitchen carrying a basket of bathroom cleaning supplies.  
  
"How many cans have you had today?"She asked.  
  
"Twenty four."I said sarcastically.It was a well known fact that I was addicted to pop.  
  
"Tara's at the door."She said before walking into the bathroom.  
  
"It's about time!"I walked to the front door and pulled the door open.  
  
"Did you get lost?"  
  
She stepped inside,kicking off her sandals.  
  
"I had to clean my room first."  
  
"So we're watching Lord Of The Rings?"  
  
"Harry Potter."  
  
"Lord Of The Rings got better reviews."  
  
I didn't know what to say to that.I led her to the couch and she plopped down and began pulling her long blond hair into a ponytail.I picked up the remote and settled on the couch.  
  
"So what's the plot?"  
  
"You'll see."  
  
"I wish we could watch Lord Of The Rings...."  
  
I gave her a little tap on the head.  
  
"I don't have Lord Of The Rings.Who wants to sit through a three hour movie,anyway?"  
  
"Me."  
  
A LITTLE WHILE LATER..........  
  
Sara gave me a funny look.  
  
"What's up with your leg?"She laughed."You look like you're having a muscle spasm!"  
  
I quickly stopped,silently scolding myself.Why the hell did I have to do that all the time? I knew damn well why.Quirrell.I had had a huge crush on him-cross that out,INFATUATION with him from the moment I laid eyes on him about a year ago.Which was,in fact,pretty much the main reason I was sitting here with my best friend watching it.Screw the rest of the movie.I wanted to see what her reaction to Quirrell would be.  
  
I stared at her face,studying it carefully as she watched Quirrell talking to Harry in the Leaky Cauldron.Nothing.Dead and lifeless as usual.No sign of a blooming infatuation on her face. She was merely stuffing her face full of buttery popcorn.She gave me funny look and laughed.  
  
"How come you're staring at me?"Her face fell."Dammit,do I have another zit?"She started to stand up. I quickly pushed her back down.  
  
"No,you're fine.Nevermind."  
  
"Kylie,don't mess with me,DO I have another zit?A big nasty one?Like right here?"  
  
"No,I swear you're fine.Watch the movie."  
  
She sat back and sighed.  
  
Oh well.Maybe she just hadin't noticed him yet.  
  
A WHILE LATER.......  
  
I wish I was that iguana,I thought to myself as McGonagall stepped into Quirrell's classroom asking for Wood.To be held by Ian.How I wish I was that lucky little-  
  
"WHOA!Who's the babe?!"I gave a startled jump as Sara nearly fell off the couch.My heart picked up speed.YES!I thought.It's about damn time-  
  
"Is THAT Oliver Wood?!"  
  
My heart sank.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
I glanced at the tv to see McGonagall introducing Harry to Wood.I should have known.  
  
"Yeah."I muttered."That's him."  
  
"Jeez!"She exclaimed."I wonder if he's available?"She turned to me wildly."Do you know who plays him?"  
  
"Sean Biggerstaff."I muttered.  
  
She jumped up.  
  
"I'm gonna go put a search on him!"  
  
I jumped up after her.  
  
"What?You're leaving already?!"  
  
She opened the front door and nearly fell out.  
  
"Sorry,Ky.Maybe we can hang out Saturday.I'm have to see if I can find some pictures or stuff on him online."She gave a little wave and ran down the driveway,her long blond hair bouncing wildly behind her.  
  
I sighed and quietly closed the front door.Oh well.At least I'd given her a crush.Just not what I had intended.  
  
I sat back on the couch and began fast forwarding to the troll scene.  
  
After about the tenth time I had pressed rewind to watch Quirrell faint,the phone rang. I ran to the kitchen and picked it up.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Kylie?"  
  
"Sara?What's-"  
  
"His name's Sean Biggerstaff!"She squealed."And he has his own fan page!"  
  
"Great."I said,struggling to sound enthused.  
  
"Want me to give you the adress?"  
  
"No,that's alright.Sara,I need to ask you something.What do you think about.....about Quirrell?"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Quirrell."I repeated,my voice embarrassingly shaky.  
  
"In Harry Potter?The dude that was holding the iguana?With the purple turban?"  
  
"Yeah.What do you think-"  
  
She laughed."He creeps me out."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"He looks like a rat!Don't you think-"  
  
"No,I don't think he looks like a rat,are you nuts?!"  
  
"Ohhhh do you like him?"  
  
"I didn't say that-"  
  
"Ohhhhh Kylie has a crush on the ratman!"  
  
"That's not the least bit funny,Sar-"  
  
"Ratman!Ratman!Kylie's in looooove!"  
  
I slammed the phone down.That was one time I wasin't going to take that shit.I put up with enough of it online,and I would be damned if I was going to take it from my best "friend."  
  
I cracked open another Sprite and plopped back down on the couch to finish the movie.  
  
I felt miserable.Why?Why did I have to be the only one with a crush on him?What was wrong with me?  
  
Before I knew what was happening I gave startled shriek as the room went pitch black,the couch dissapeared under me and I began to fall endlessly. 


	2. Chapter 2

Now's probably a great time to inform you that I'm not a roller coaster or bungee jumping kind of girl.Even the kiddy coasters with the little caterpillar trains give me unbarable nausea. So plummeting feet first in the pitch black not knowing what the hell's going on or where I'm going was a little too much for me.Sorry,but I'm no Alice in wonderland.  
  
I gave a small gagging sound in the back of my throat as I slammed onto a cold hard floor. It was still pitch black,I couldin't even see my hands.The wind was knocked out of me and I bent forward,heaving.  
  
After I had regained some of my dignity I stood up,staring into the pitch black. My heart pounded so fast my chest ached.I was shaking in fear.My first thought was that I was dead.I had croaked on the couch watching Harry Potter.Great.I reached up and felt my face.It felt normal.A bit hot from the scare,but normal.I didn't want to die.I was too young to die. Did I get a poison Sprite?Is this the "other side?"Is this hell or heaven or what?  
  
Before I could ponder these thoughts any longer the lights suddenly returned.I looked around frantically,half expecting to see a cave of fleshless beings rotting in a pool of green acid.Instead,I was standing......in the Hogwarts main hall.  
  
"Holy shit!Holy mother and merciful God..."  
  
A spine cracking shudder ran through my body as I slowly allowed myself to see everything. No bullshit.This was Hogwarts.I was in Hogwarts.  
  
But how could I be?That crap sounded like something I'd write in a fanic or something! That was utter bullcrap!That Sprite I had been drinking....it must have been alchoholic. The dudes that make Sprite....when I woke I was going to write a strongly worded letter to them.I knew what to do.I laid down on the cold floor and shut my eyes so tight they almost popped out of my skull.That should do the trick.  
  
"Oh!Young lady,are you all right?"  
  
"Heh heh.That's funny."I muttered,my eyes still closed tightly."Let me guess...you're McGonagall,huh?"  
  
I just LOVE dreams where I get to mouth off.Where I get to be totally in control.  
  
"As a matter of fact,I am.What on earth are you doing on the floor?"  
  
My eyes flew open.I found myself staring into McGonagall's face. 


	3. Chapter 3

She stared down at me,her face stern and authority filled.I felt weak and unimportant in her tough presence.The odd thing was,she was straight from the movie.The movie version of McGonagall.Yeah.Right.I looked around,my heart pounding.No cameras.No crew members or anything that would suggest that I had somehow landed my ass smack dab in the filming of Chamber Of Secrets.

I looked up at McGonagall again,shifting all of this around in my mind like the sorting of files.

"I believe I asked you a question."

I broke out into a nasty mischevious grin.This was a dream.I was having my own free independent thoughts in this dream and everything was vivid.I was in the Hogwarts castle. I could do whatever the hell I wanted without any consequences.Why,I could run around the Gryffindor common room naked!I could tell Snape to fuck off and wash his hair!I could-get my ass thrown out of the dream real quick if I acted like that.No,I would have to play along. Make it last.And maybe if I was a really good girl,played along with everything and pretended to be a witch,I could have a nice defense against the dark arts class!The very thought sent a chill down my spine.Even though I knew deep down that the minute I caught glimpse of Quirrell,I'd wake up with my mom nagging at me to get my butt out of bed. I quickly put on my best british accent.

"I'm sorry,ma'am."I said,quickly standing up and patting down my hair. "I must have fallen alseep."

"What are you doing here?"

I bit my lip,trying to look shy and embarrassed.

"I'm not a student here,ma'am.I don't have a family.I've been struggling to live on my own for three years now.I snuck in here,I know it was wrong,but I've never seen Hogwarts and I really want to live at a place like this,I just can't handle it on my own anymore and-"

"Are you a witch?"

I nodded."Yes,ma'am.Do you think I could attend Hogwarts?"

She stared down at me.I could practically see the gears in her mind spinning around with all the bullcrap I'd just spewed.

"If you're a witch I don't see why not.The last thing we want is to see a young lady starving out on the streets.Term starts tommorow,the students will be arriving in the evening.Your age?"

"Fifteen."

"How much magical experience do you have,exactly?"

I stared at her blankly.

"Have you a wand?"

"No,ma'am.I've never had a wand of my own.But I've been tested by a very nice old wizard who said I was a witch,like my mum and dad were."

She nodded.

"Well,we'd be happy to have you,miss-"

"Johanseen.Kylie Johanseen."

"Miss Johanseen."

Suddenly a horrible thought slammed into the walls of my brain like a missile.Quirrell might not be here.It could be Lupin or Moody or-God spare me,Lockhart.

"You'll be needing a wand,of course."She turned with a swish of her emerald green dress and motioned for me to follow."I'm afraid you can't get one at Diagon Alley,Ollivanders is closed for maintenence this week, but you may be able to make do with a few spare wands."

"Ma'am?"I asked,following her up the steps.

"Professor McGonagall."

"Professor McGonagall,who will be teaching defense against the dark arts this year?"

"That would be Professor Quirrell.Why do you ask?"

I almost cried out in relief.

"Oh,well that's what I thought.I've heard about him before,he's supposedly very well traveled.And I'm very interested in defense against the dark arts.I hope to be an auror someday."

You're so full of crap,Kylie,I thought to myself.

"Well,hopefully we can get you on your way.There's nothing I enjoy more than seeing a student reach his or her goal in life."

Then put me alone in tiny room with Quirrell and you can fufill my dream,McGonny.

I looked around curiously.The halls were empty and so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

"Where we going?"

"Professor Quirrell's office.He has a few spare wands that you can try out."

I choked back a noise in my throat.

She turned around,eyeing me curiously.

"Pardon?"

I shook my head quickly.

"Nothing.I think I might be getting a cold,that's all."

She walked through the defense against the dark arts classroom,and to my disbelief it was an EXACT replica of the one in the movie.The dragon skeleton,the garlic,the candles,everything.

"Wait here."She whispered.

I sat down at one of the desks,my nervous left leg jiggling like mad.

I watched her as she stook her head through an old purple curtain.

"Professor Quirrell?"She asked."I have a young lady here that will be in your class tommorow. She needs a wand of her own and I'm afraid Ollivanders is closed.You have a few spare wands that she could try out,don't you?"

"Y-Y-Yes,of course.B-Bring her in,professor."

That was Ian's voice all right.An excited shudder ripped through my body,sending my knee slamming into the desk leg.

"OW!Son of a-"

McGonagall gave me a stern look.

"You son of a basilisk!"I finished in the nick of time.

She motioned for me to come in.

I stood up slowly,my knees quivering and walked forward.McGonagall stood next to the doorway,holding the curtain open for me.I stepped inside.

There he was,straight out of the movie,sitting at an old oak desk.He looked so sweet and innocent I could hardly hold back the tears as he flashed me a sweet smile that made me dizzy.

"H-H-hello."He stuttered,his right eye twitching.

It took me a moment to realize my mouth was open.I quickly shut it and nodded.

"Hi."I whispered in a bearly audible voice.

"P-Please sit have a seat."

I sat down,staring at him like a zombie.Should I?It was just a dream,of course.No consequences would come from jumping him and putting the moves on him,right?It had to be a dream.But it was so incredibly vivid.All of my senses were aware,I could feel,I could see even the slighest details,I could hear the slightest noises,I could feel the cold wooden chair on my legs.It was all way too real.Dammit,what should I do??


	4. Chapter 4

I finally came to a descision.I was going to be on my best behavior.There was a chance,a very slim chance that this could be real.But I wasin't going to go all insane on him.I was going to be a perfect young lady.  
  
I jumped out of the chair and with a swift push,shoved the desk out of the way.The desk fell over with a hideous crash but I took no notice of it.  
  
"MISS JOHANSEEN,WHAT ARE YOU-"  
  
McGonagall was yelling something but I immediately blocked it out,focusing only on Quirrell.I bent over (he was pressed against his chair in shock)and proceeded to lick his face passionately.I pushed my hands up inside the turban and began rubbing his big ears,kissing him repeatedly on the lips.  
  
He toppled off the chair,me on top of him.I felt McGonagall struggling to pull me away,and then....  
  
"What the hell?"I looked around,breathing heavily.Hogwarts was gone.Quirrell and McGonagall were gone.I was in....darkness.Not a room.Not outside.Just....darkness.  
  
"WHERE AM I?!"I yelled.'HELLO?!!"  
  
I looked around frantically.Suddenly a woman,naked as the day she was born,stepped in front of me.She was surrounded by a bright golden light that illuminated her beautiful face and golden hair.  
  
"You should not have done that,my love."  
  
My chest began to ache in fear.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
She stepped forward and put one hand on the top of my head,the other on the side of my face,  
  
"My name is Carla.I am your spirit guide,love."She leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead.  
  
"Little have you known that I have been with you all these years.We have been side by side all these years,and you have been oblivious to that fact."  
  
"Oh God."I whispered."Am I dieing?"I stepped back away from her,shaking.  
  
"Oh God,please don't take me...I don't wanna go yet....please..."  
  
She walked forward and put her hands on my shoulders,she was so close I could feel her melon sized breasts against my own chest.  
  
"It is not time for you to go.That time has not come yet.It is off in the distance,child. For when that time comes I shall indeed come to you and set you off to where you need to go.But now is not that time."  
  
"Was I just....dreaming that I kissed Quirrell,Carla?My God,it seemed so real..."  
  
I reached up and felt my lips,which were still tingling.I felt a stab of embarrassment that this beautiful spirit from heaven had seen me do that.  
  
"No.You were not dreaming at all.Your display was lustful and selfish."  
  
"I-I know.I'm sorry.But...HOW COULD IT NOT BE A DREAM,HUH?"  
  
This time I stepped forward.  
  
"Quirrell doesn't exist!Neither does Hogwarts,or any of that shit!It's all make-believe!A FANTASY!"  
  
She shook her head,as if pitying me.  
  
"You world is one of many billions,child.Your universe in which you dwell is only a mere speck of dust in an incredible cluster of universes. I have seen so many people go through life worrying about the outcome.Worrying about God and the Great Satan.Worrying about such things as those.Thinking the planet of Earth and the known planets around it are the only reality.Such thinking is foolish and false,child. You have not seen the things that exist in this giant universe in which all billions of universes reside in.I cannot tell you how...or why,that is not my duty.But many things on the planet called Earth in which are known as "fantasy" and "make-believe" are more real and alive than you can ever imagine.As such,the individuals you believe to be "made-up" are in fact out there in other worlds.  
  
My head felt as though it would explode right then and there.Why was she sharing all this with me?Why?  
  
"But why-"  
  
"I am here to help you.I am here to allow you to experience things in which most others shall never know.You have made a mistake in another world.I shall return you to where you where before your foolish display.Do not do that again,child.Resist the temptation to do that again. When you are done I shall return you to your known world.But for now,there are things you must see,child.Things that I strongly believe you need to be shown in order to grow stronger." 


	5. Chapter 5

"What lesson?"I asked,puzzled.  
  
Carla shook her blond head."That will not be discussed now,child.Be careful what you do.Consider your actions carefully.Do not make the same mistake again or I shall be very dissapointed in you."  
  
"Do you have a problem with me making out with him?"I asked,becomming slightly annoyed.  
  
"That is not what I have brought you there to do.No more of it."  
  
"This is a dream."I said plainly."This is the most ridiculous,insane dream I've ever had in my life.Quirrell isin't real.And neither is this dream.And I've already learned my lesson.I've learned that chips and cheese and a burrito before bed doesn't agree with me."  
  
Carla did not show any signs of irritation at my spouting off,her expression simply remained the same.  
  
"This is not a dream,child.This is reality and in due time you will come to realize and except this.I have brought you to this world because you are the only one who can save a man who is in great danger.What this man desperately needs is help,and you are the one to givee it.I am returning you to where you left off now.Remember my words and do not forget the accent."  
  
She clapped and dissapeared before my eyes.I was left standing in darkness.I stood there,all alone,breathing heavy.Suddenly the darkness lifted in a loud whoosh and I found myself sitting in the chair in front of Quirrell's desk.I felt sick with embarrassment,even though I knew what I had done had been reset.He knew nothing of it.  
  
"S-So you n-n-need a new wand,eh?"He asked,smiling sweetly.  
  
I nodded.  
  
He stood up and I watched mesmerized as he opened a wooden trunk with polished brass handles,pulling out a handful of wands.  
  
He walked over to me and handed me one of them,setting the rest on his desk.I could see his hand was trembling badly.But I knew it was all an act.Right now he had Voldemort camping out on the back of his head.My eyes wandered up to his turban and pictured Voldemort resting there,listening to every word.Struggling to control his breaths.I picked up the wand in my own shaky hand.  
  
"G-Give it a little swish a-and s-see w-w-what happens."  
  
"Okay."I stood up,pointed at an hourglass laying on the desk and yelled "WinGAAARdium LeviOsa!!"and gave the wand a smooth swish followed up by a hard flick.  
  
To my astonishedment the hourglass levitated two feet above the desk.I raised the wand slowly,as if pulling up a wooden puppet.The hourglass rised.Suddenly it fell to the desk with a loud crash,sending glass everywhere.Quirrell and I both jumped,startled."Sorry."I whispered,setting the wand down.  
  
"T-That's t-the wand for you,alright."He said with a little laugh.He pointed the wand at the pile of shattered glass and sand and muttered "Repairo."and the hourglass resumed it previous form.  
  
McGonagall came up from behind me,giveing me a bit of a start.I forgot she was even watching.  
  
"That was wonderful!Who taught you Wingardium Leviosa?"  
  
"Warwick Davis and Emma Wa-I mean....the man who tested me to see if I was a witch.He was kind enough to teach me that little one."  
  
"Is that the only spell you know?"  
  
I considered my answer for a moment.  
  
"Yeah.Only Wingardium Leviosa."  
  
"Well,that's certainly a nice start,isin't it?I'd say you're going to be a fine student tommorow."  
  
Quirrell walked around to the front of the desk,picked up the wand,and handed it to me.  
  
I grasped the wand,hardly noticeing it at all.I stared up into his eyes transfixed.I knew that in the movie his eyes had changed color.Sometimes they were brown,sometimes they were gray,sometimes they were blue,and sometimes they were green.Right now they were brown.Chocolate brown.A wonderful brown,I thought dreamily.  
  
"I-It's thirteen inches long,cedar,st-stiff,and m-m-made of dragon hearstrings."  
  
I nodded."M'kay."  
  
I stood up,examing the wand.It smelled good.Like cedar.  
  
"Well,we'd better get you some dinner."Said McGonagall. "I imagine you must be hungry."  
  
"Not really."I said,barely listening,still staring at Quirrell.  
  
"I'm going to go conjure up some dinner for her,Quirinus."She said.  
  
Quirinus.So his name was Quirinus,just like on the trading cards.That's what I thought.  
  
He nodded."O-Okay.N-Now that you mention it,Minerva....I think I'll j-join her.I'm pr-pretty famished myself."  
  
My heart skipped a beat.Dinner with Quirrell.I was going to eat dinner with Quirrell! Maybe we could have a little discussion about his travels to Albania..... 


	6. Chapter 6

Somehow I managed to talk McGonagall into conjuring up two chili dogs and a can of Sierra Mist.Naturally,she was quite perplexed by my interest in "muggle" food, but I simply feed her a load of shit about how I admired muggles like Arthur Weasley.One might question why I'd select a can of muggle soda when I had the once in a lifetime opportunity to taste a butterbeer,but I can't go two hours without sucking down a can of diet pop.  
  
I sat at one of the ridiculously long tables in the great hall,a greedy pig with a chili coated face and my hand wrapped around the soda can like it was about to fly away.  
  
Just then the double doors opened and Quirrell walked in carrying a tray.I quickly set down the can,grabbed a knapkin and rubbed furiously at my face until it was red and sore.As he approached the table I dropped the napkin and watched him sit down. On his tray was a turkey sandwhich,a cauldron cake,and a butterbeer.He smiled nervously.  
  
"A-A b-bit c-cold in here,eh?"He asked,his shaky fingers working the top on the butterbeer.  
  
"Yeah,kind of."  
  
I took a sip of soda,watching him closely.  
  
"So,....t-tell me a little a-about yo-yourself."  
  
I shook my head.  
  
"Nothing interesting about me.I'd love to hear about you though,Professor.I hear you went to Albania.What did you do there?See anything interesting?"  
  
"Y-You mean Romania?"  
  
"Right,Romania.Did you meeet anybody interesting there?"  
  
A spasm of fear flickered across his face.VOLDEMORT was written all over it.He took a bite of his turkey sandwhich and stared down at his tray.  
  
"I thought It'd be n-n-nice to g-get some first hand experience w-with the sort of creatures you don't n-normally see around here.Hags,vampires,all sorts."  
  
I nodded and decided to take it another step further.  
  
"I heard you never stuttered until you returned.Why do you stutter now?"  
  
He looked even more nervous,no matter how much he tried to hide it.I was asking a bit too much.  
  
"W-Well.....it was hard.I saw a fair share of d-d-disturbing things on my travels. F-For one,a hag went at my throat.I-I thought t-that was the last of me,what with her hands around my throat.O-Only one of several disturbing things.So...I guess I'll never be exactly t-the same."  
  
I nodded with genuine sympathy.  
  
"I like it."  
  
He looked up from his sandwhich,puzzled.  
  
"H-Hmmm?"  
  
"I think it's very cute.Adorable.A lot of chicks dig guys with stutters."  
  
I swear at that moment I could almost hear Voldy cracking up back there.  
  
"O-Oh,you think so?"  
  
"Mmm hmm."I decided to take it another step further.At this point,with him sitting in front of me,me with the upper hand,I was ready to tell Carla to kiss my ass.  
  
"And you've never married?"I asked,taking a last sip of soda."Honestly now,I find that one hard to believe."I leaned forward,my eyes gleaming mischeviously."You see,I always assumed that's what drop dead gorgeous men do.Get married.Maybe I was mistaken."I leaned a little closer.  
  
He backed his chair up quickly.I'd obviously invaded his space.  
  
"N-No....never...n-never married."He gave me a strange look and quickly grabbed his tray with shaking fingers."I-I'm gonna go up to my office.L- Lotta work still left to do..for tommorow."  
  
I nodded,slightly embarrassed.  
  
"Alright.It was nice talking to you,Professor.See you tommorow."  
  
He nodded and walked out the double doors. 


	7. chapter 7

Author's note: Sorry. Please don't hang me. I know it's been like years, but I've finally managed to get off my butt and start this thing up again. So without further ado, let's start where we left off!

"Since you won't be properly sorted until tomorow, you may sleep in whichever dorm you want," McGonagall informed me, leading me down a long stone corridor. "Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Slytherin, which would you prefer for the night?"

"Ummm...." I stopped to ponder her question. "Well..."

She peered at me impatiently over her spectacles. "Well? It's not a life or death decision Miss Johanseen, they're all the same."

"Ravenclaw's fine," I said at last.

"This way," she commanded, motioning for me to follow down the left corridor.

She led me to the Ravenclaw common room and showed me up the stairs to the girl's dormitory. The dorm was large, with a low ceiling and a couple dozen four poster beds, all neatly made and untouched since the end of the school year.

"Whichever bed you like," she said, adjusting the curtains.

I choose a bed beside one of the windows, where moonlight filtered through the silk curtains, a stiff wind banging against the window pane. I sat down and bounced the mattress a bit. It was a hell of a lot more comfortable than the lumpy piece of crap I slept in at home that had been handed down for God knows how many generations. I could get used to this.

"This is great. Thank you for everything, Professor."

"My pleasure. I suggest you get some sleep; you have a long day ahead of you tomorrow. You'll need to get up bright and early. If you need to use the bathroom, it's right over there. But you might want to avoid the middle stall for tonight."

"Why?" I asked, picturing some horrible ghost sitting in there, possibly haunting the toilet like Moaning Myrtle.

"Peeves the poltergeist tried to flush an entire roll of toilet paper down the commode this morning." She stopped and shook her head, exasperated. "If he comes back tonight, I suggest you just ignore him. Goodnight, Miss Johanseen."

"Night, Professor."

Eager for the next day, I crawled under the satin sheets and closed my eyes, lulled to sleep by the wind.

"TROOOOLL! In the dungeon! Troll in the dungeon!"

I whirled around from my place on the table, mouth stuffed with cauldron cake. "Thought you ought to know," he whispered before collapsing to the floor. I jumped up from my seat, quickly swallowing the rest of the cake.

"He did it!" I shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at the figure sprawled on the floor of the great hall. "He let the troll in!"

A hush fell over the room and Quirrell looked up, stunned. A pair of aurors entered the double doors that Quirrell had burst through just seconds before and reached down, each grabbing an arm and pulling the flabbergasted professor to his feet. "Come on, let's go, pal," the auror on the left ordered, giving him a hard yank.

"How could you?" Quirrell sputtered as he was dragged out, heels skating across the floor. "How could you?!"

"N-No..." I sputtered. "Wait a minute! Stop!"

The blond girl sitting next to me reached up and pinched me on the arm. Hard.

"Ow, what are doing?!" I demanded, rubbing my arm.

The girl on the other side of me reached up and pinched the same arm.

"Hey! Stop it! Stop it!"

I swung an arm and my hand struck...feathers?

My eyes flew open and I sat up in bed, coming face to face with a large barn owl. I screamed and thrashed wildly, spilling off the side of the bed in a tangle of sheets. The owl screeched and flew out the open door. McGonagall must have sent him to wake me up. Sweating, I scrambled to my feet and looked around in wonder. Realization. It hadn't been a dream. I was really here. In Hogwarts. And that damn thing got me good on the arm. I headed for the bathroom to run some cold water over the bite. I opened the bathroom door and let out a shriek of surprise as cold water hit my ankles and spilled into the dorm. Peeves. So that's why the dormitory door was hanging open when McGonagall had closed it! I stepped inside and rushed into the middle stall where Peeves was giggling amongst himself and reaching out to flush the toilet again.

"No you don't!" I shouted and reached out to yank him by the scruff of the neck. I got nothing but a handful of cold smoke. He laughed and blew a raspberry at me. I whipped out my wand at pointed it at his face. He flinched and then laughed.

"Get out now, or I'll let you have it, I swear," I growled, brushing my sweat-damp hair from my eyes.

"Go ahead," he chuckled. "You've got it pointed the wrong way, ickle firsty!"

I looked down and sure enough, the damned thing was pointed at me. I quickly flipped it around and jabbed it at him threateningly. "Get out now or I'll do it."

"Do what?" he asked in a mocking tone as he reached out to flush the toilet again.

"The cruciatus curse. How would you like that?"

"Silly firsty thinks she's going to do the unforgivable curse, " he cackled, fearless.

"Out. Now, or I will." I demanded. I was blowing smoke of course, but I knew that I could if I wanted to.

"You'd be expelled."

"See if I care," I lied. "Get out now or I'm calling the Bloody Baron."

Pouting, he sullenly floated out, but not before shooting me the middle finger on the way out. Shaking my head, I kicked a piece of soggy toilet paper off my foot and stepped back, wand pointed at the soaked toilet, checking to make sure that it was, indeed, facing the toilet and not me.

"Repairo!" I cried, flicking the wand. It didn't have the intended result. I shrieked and shielded my face as the toilet exploded. The commode literally burst into pieces, showering the bathroom with water, porcelain, and soggy toilet paper. Water instantly shot through the once-connecting pipe.

"Nice job, firsty!" Peeves cackled from the doorway where he was floating upside down.

"Get out!" I shouted, half angry, half panicked.

"What in Merlin's beard is going on in here?" McGonagall suddenly rushed into the room, holding up the hem or her robes to keep them from getting wet.

"I-I tried to fix the toilet!" I sputtered helplessly as the bathroom filled with water, roaring from the pipe. "I'm so sorry, Professor-"

She pushed me out of the way and jabbed her wand at the pipe. "RePARo!" she shouted. The pipe instantly stopped gushing water and the remains of the toilet flew back together and fastened itself to the wall once again. My mouth dropped open in awe.

"I guess I have a lot to learn," I muttered.

"I guess so," she shot back. "I suggest next time you wait until you've learned spells before you attempt to use them, Miss Johanseen."

"Sorry," I murmured, my face burning.

With another flick of the wand she cleared the water from the room and casually stuffed the wand back into the pocket of her emerald robes. "Get dressed and come down to the great hall for breakfast. The students will be arriving soon."

I nodded and turned to the mirror and let out a little yelp.

"What is it now?"

"Uh, ma'am? I, uh, I don't have any make-up. There's no way I'm going down there without make-up. And my hair, I have to iron it. It's an afro without it."

She starred at me over her spectacles, exasperated. "Can't you suppress your vanity while you are here, Miss Johanseen?"

"Um, no, not really," I replied to my feet. "Um, don't you guys have a spell or something like Mascara Onio or something?"

"It's Vanatarius Ossentra," she replied, shaking her head. "But I suggest you let me do it for today lest you blow your head clean off."


End file.
